On Becoming a Person

First funny:
John and I had an interesting conversation over dinner the other night.  It started with him telling me about a book where this guy took a monkey home with him and tried to masquerade it as a kid suffering from that disease where you are like super hairy (it’s a real thing but I don’t know what it is called).  So then we started talking about the difference between fur and hair—according to John fur is softer than hair.  I told him that he has so much hair on his head that it kind of looks like fur.  “But it’s not soft,” I said.  Then he looked at me, so dejected and surprised, put a hand to his head, and said, “My fur isn’t soft?”

Second funny:
We were at our friends house on Friday night, and they were showing us pictures from their trip to Australia.  I was particularly interested in the pictures of the wallabies (like kangaroos but smaller) that they saw.  SO CUTE.  Our friend started telling us how in Australia, some people actually eat kangaroos, and that they are like red meat.  At this, John looks up so intensely and says, “Can you eat the pouch?!” 

HA.

The first day back to classes was yesterday… and it was actually much better than I thought it was going to be.

I truly love my new intern supervisor at my practicum site.  She is really approachable and fun, and laughs at my weirdness instead of just thinking I am weird and leaving it at that.  For example, she, my colleague Elena, and I were chatting in my office on site, and my supervisor remarked about how since Elena has already been at this placement for a year, that she would be a great resource for the new students coming in.  I looked at Elena and said, “Yeah, you’re like a … juicy… bounty ...for us.”  Yeah, I actually said that—juicy bounty.  And hearing my supervisor repeat it when I went to visit her in her office made me crack up all the more.  This is going to be a fun year.

I also love teaching so far.  My class is very energetic and engaged and seemingly interested.  We have also had some good laughs already and I have only taught one session. 

One thing that sucks is that my legs hurt tremendously when I got home after the 10 hour campus day yesterday.  It was like shin splints.  I am wondering if this is because I’m not used to wearing heels for that long of a time or if I’m not used to walking across campus with a heavy book bag or both of the above.  Either way, I felt totally lame.  Who gets shin splints after working a white collar job?!

Finally, when I did get home at 6:40 I cooked dinner, then promptly went grocery shopping, then put all of the groceries away, then started putting together a database of questions for some research… and somehow I wound up totally passed out on the couch and sleeping so deeply that John had to carry me to bed.  And this was only Day 1.  Yikes.  Adrienne talked about getting me a caffeine drip on one of those mobile IVs… maybe that would help.  Give me an IV of caffeine and laughter and ice cream and candy sugar and basically anything but claswork and I think I may be good to go.

My new colleague Myriam is teaching her psych class in what we have affectionately dubbed “The Halloween Room.”  Because, as you will soon see, all of the cushioned chairs in the auditorium are alternating brown and orange.  [How did anyone ever think this was tasteful, even in the 70s?!].  Anyway, she and I went down there on Friday to hook up her laptop and see how the Power Point would work, blah blah blah.  It actually is a pretty nice room, once you get used to it.

Her classroom is the only one on the entire floor in the building.  It is that big.  While exploring, we found this wagon cart in a supply closet and decided to take it for a ride around the building.  After our escapade, rather than put it back in the supply closet, we decided to leave it ornately in the front of her classroom.  If it is still there, it will be a nice ice breaker for her tomorrow!

We also had to test out the sound system in the room, and we did so by projecting a few of our favorite YouTube videos (Everyday Normal Guy and Like a Boss) onto the screen and turning the volume all the way up.  Both of these being pseudo music videos, naturally much high class dancing ensued in the front of the room. 

Verdict: It is a very nice sound system and the projector works quite well.

Today, I carted over 50 pounds of stuff [Yes scientists, I actually weighed it] related to my thesis up into my office.  I have two lovely bankers boxes under my desk, both stuffed to the brim with articles and such, in addition to 4” binder on top of my filing cabinet, also stuffed.  I am hoping that I never have to look at this stuff again.  Ever.  Man, it felt nice to shove it back in that dark corner!

John and I went to Wendy’s last night, and one of my chicken nuggets was shaped like a heart.  What joy!  I couldn’t bring myself to eat it though… I thought that might be too weird.

We went to feed the ducks after dinner, and they were swarming once again.  John had brought his Wendy’s cup of root beer with him (the medium sized one, which is now actually a large, thanks Wendy’s…).  He set it down on the curb, and we got so mobbed with quacking and squeaking waterfowl that one goose actually knocked the cup over and it spilled.  Hilarious, hilarious.

Today, my last “official” day of summer, I went roller blading in the allotment of condos next to our apartment complex.  I have not done that all summer, and I forgot how relaxing it is!  I know roller blading is completely ‘90s, but I have been doing it since I taught myself how on my sister’s pair of blades like back in ‘96, and I don’t think I will ever be able to give it up.  At least I still have a couple of months before the weather turns colder!

(That isn’t me, but I think it could be, don’t you?  Except I don’t have any of that sexy gear…dang it… oh well.)

A couple of years back, I ran into an acquaintance as I was walking to class, and he informed me that if you search for the word “poop” on the University of Akron homepage, my personal website came up.  He, of course read it, and he said it was the most hilarious thing he had ever seen.

Let me explain.  Akron offers students free webhosting space where you can create your own little site, if you want to.  So while I was an undergraduate (mostly when I was a freshmen and a sophomore), I maintained a fun website for myself.  One of it’s main features (which you may or may not recall) was called The Wall of Shame.  This was a page where I posted hilarious quotes from my friends and such.  It was updated on a regular basis.

Anyway, I have since deleted the site for reasons of maturity, but I was cleaning out my computer the other day and ran across the file, so I thought it might be fun to resurrect pieces of the Wall of Shame for a good laugh.  Here goes…

Katie: Well what about the Queen's wife?
Greg: The Queen doesn't have a wife.
Katie: Well, how does she have kids, then?!

I am producing fine literature... By fine, I mean "not doing," and by literature, I mean "anything." --John's away message

"It was a dark evening.  A girl, a turtle, and a bastard were walking in the basement." --Marc, as he, Tom and I made our way through the Chapel

Me: "Yeah, I'm going to go and put my two-cents in."
Emily: "Shoot, I'm poor.  I'm writing an I.O.U."

My Psych Teacher: "How long does it take you to get ready for a first date?"
Me: "10 minutes..."
Girl Behind Me: "2 days!"

"Christina, don't talk bad about yourself.  There are plenty of guys that would want to rape you!" --Emily

"I would love to see his piece!" --Alex

"I have never seen wealthy, upper class ladies wearing nuts around their neck." –Jason Dahling, Social Psychology

At Country Diner, Alex hands me his bent bendy-straw:  "I need a new one; I broke mine somehow."

Christina:  "You almost busted me in the head with that vacuum cleaner!"
Danny:  "That would’ve sucked."

"You can sit on the couch Christina, just move my Big Java." --Mike

"I'm a shy person and I have multiple personalities, does that mean I'm afraid to talk to myself?"  --Adam

"I really wish a monster would attack on Halloween.  It wouldn't kill anyone...well...it'd only kill bad people, but in the end we'd all overcome it." --Alex

"That's BS: Bull Crap"  --Josh

"If the pen is mightier than the sword, that means pigs have some pretty dangerous homes."   --Adam

"It was an unheard of hour...like twenty-five o'clock!"  --Josh

“Everyone had jugs but you.” – Me

Josh:  “Man, you really like a lot of gay sh*t, don't you?”
Me: “I know, that’s why I like you so much!”

"So, from what I got, Hanukkah started over a war, Kwanzaa is about corn, and Christmas has to do with some guy's money sack." –Kevin, after a RLH presentation

xander1684: contact me when u get black
xander1684: back i mean sorry

"There's my joke, crashing like an airplane!" --Adam

"You threw a cantaloupe at me, it ricocheted, and you got hit by a tray" --Alex

Me: "Cod nugget, cod nugget, cod nugget."  
Alex: "You just like saying 'cod nugget'."  
Me: "Yeah.  Cod nugget, cod nugget"

"You're a disease.  It's like, 'Man, you've got Adam!'" --Sean

Sean: "Stop screaming like a girl!"
Adam: "Okay, I'll scream like a woman."

Alex: "You must have mistaken another Jewish person for me"
Me: "There are no other Jewish people on campus!"

"That elevator took longer to come than a 70-year-old man!"  --Alex

Me: "Well, if I was a girl, I'd like him!"

"Yeah, I think my left arm is squishier than my right." --Sean

Joe Tucker: "I'm just going to whip out my business card to pick up the ladies."
Me: "You need to find something really cool to rhyme with Tucker to put on it."

"I see most of you have already left, even though you are still sitting here."  --Dr. Hardy, Chemistry

Petiti's Employee: "Can I help you guys?"
Me: "No thanks...we're just....propagating"
Danny: "Yeah, we're just thinking"
Employee: "Okay, so you guys are thinking about propagating…"

Yesterday Dr. Hardin gave me some mini chocolate bars as a “reward” for finishing the counseling clinic handbook for the department.  I took them from a jar on her desk, and I ended up putting them in my pocket for the moment, with the intention of going right back to my office and unloading them.

As per my usual experience in the department, I got sidetracked by someone or something on the way back to my office, and totally forgot that the chocolate bars were in the pocket of my blue khaki shorts.  After I left the department in the 90-degree weather, I drove in my hot car downtown to the public library, then all the way back home.  At home, I sat in my living room with my (also hot) laptop on my lap for several hours.

I finally noticed the bulge in my pocket when I was cleaning up the dinner dishes.  At this point, I had totally forgotten about the contents, and was surprised to find the handful of melted, disfigured, once-delicious chocolates.

Oh my.  Sorry, Dr. Hardin.  I have failed you.

Let it be known that at noon today, I officially FINISHED my thesis.  Adrienne and I handed our pristine, adviser-signed copies to the department secretary at the exact same moment of blazing glory.  So that’s it—I have a master’s degree!!!

I am thinking about submitting the thesis for publication, but not until Dr. Tokar and I can go through it and make some edits and changes blah blah blah, but that probably won’t happen until both of our schedules free up again.  So until that time, Examining the Construct Validity of the Expectations About Counseling Questionnaire—Brief Form in a Clinical Sample, I wash my hands of you!

[Observations made after our trip there for the American Psychological Association Conference, at which I presented a poster or two].

1.) Really skinny.  Our friend Nick made this observation last time he and his friends went to Toronto, and I found him to be accurate.  I did not see a single overweight person (that wasn’t American) in the entire city while I was there.  Some young women looked too skinny though.  As John put it, “Is everyone in Toronto anorexic?!”  I wonder if that is because portions are smaller and people eat healthier, because they walk a lot more, a combination of both, or some other reason.  At any rate, this was kind of a struggle for me because in America I am “skinny”, but in Toronto, I was “average” or even “above average” in weight.

2.) I also want to say “rude as f*@%,” but that really applies to my experience of only one woman.  As we were walking back to our hotel, this lady comes up behind me and literally shoves me out of the way with her arm, so that she can walk by me without having to look up from the cell phone on which she was texting.  Unbelievable.  I didn’t realize what was happening at first, because when I felt the shove from behind I thought it was John joking with me until I see this lady’s arm right in my face.  Too bad, or I would have exchanged some words with her more directly.  John said, “Wow, that’s really rude,” as soon as he saw what was happening.  Once Nick figured it out, in my defense he started yelling all sorts of stuff at the lady (“Yeah, just keep texting, cause it is SO important”…) but she was pretty far down the sidewalk by then.  Crazy.

There are a few reasons why I really do like Toronto though:
1.) It is very clean (except on trash days, where local merchants just pile bags and bags of trash on the city streets until it is removed; this smells repulsive).
2.) The buildings are all modern—glass, artistic, etc.  Not really ghetto whatsoever.
3.) People recycle.  Everything.  Everywhere.  There are recycling bins in every place where there is a trashcan.
4.) Signs are in both English and French.  I like French.  I know some French.  Being able to read the French was super cool.
5.) Tim Hortons restaurant is amazing.  Tim Hortons (a cross between Subway and Dunkin’ Donuts) does not exist in northeastern Ohio.
6.) The Canadian versions of American stores are adorable:
      Borders = Chapters
      Best Buy = Future Shop
      Bed Bath and Beyond = Jynx (or something like that)
      Petsmart = Petmania
And there were lots of others in the mall, but I was not able to remember them all!  They still have Starbucks’ on almost every street downtown, but there is also a Tim Hortons on every corner.  Amazing.
   
Nick came with us, and since he had been to Toronto before, he had a couple of funny things to tell us:

1.) On the way in, we drove through Buffalo, NY.  Nick said, “Take a good look around at this bullsh*t, and then compare it with Toronto when we get in the city.”  He was right--Buffalo was amazingly run-down and ghetto in comparison.
2.) Last time when Nick and his friends were at Tim Hortons, one of his friends asked, “Who is Tim Horton, anyway?”  Nick replied (completely joking but in a very serious voice), “He was the first prime minister of Canada.”  I think his friend believed him, but the lady behind the counter thought he was nuts.
3.) The donut holes at Tim Hortons are called TimBits.  Nick shared this with me before I ordered some, but it was so loud in the store that I couldn’t make out what he was saying right away, so we were yelling back and forth but trying to be discrete:
Me: “What are they?”
N: “TimBits!” 
Me: “Tidbits?” 
N: “TimBits!”
Me: “What?!”
N: “You can go ahead and ask for ‘donut holes’, but they are going to look at you like you are a retarded American.”
I finally figured it out once I saw Nick’s box with a label.  But I still felt retarded ordering “Ten TimBits.”

So I literally just got back from Toronto for the APA Conference and was driving into town and saw that the ice cream shop next door that I LOVED last summer that had closed and broken my heart is OPEN again!  It’s not exactly the same shop—they changed the name from J.R.’s Goodies to R.J. Scoops and it is owned by different people, but the ice cream tastes pretty much exactly the same. 

We literally went there the moment we finished unloading the car.  I was yelling and dancing all the way there.  Oh, thank goodness John humors me.  He asked the guy in the shop how long they have been open, and he said today was their first day and that they would likely stay open into the winter as well.

Considering my love affair with ice cream, this makes my life!!!

This weekend, Adrienne, Pat and I saw some of this sort of hair going on:

Okay, it wasn’t quite that big, but close.  The following conversation ensued, regardless.

Me: Wow, look at that hair!
Adrienne: She can like, keep things in there…
Me: Like pens!
Adrienne: I was thinking more like dissertations.
Pat: No, like an airport.